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Coughed Up June 15, 2000
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for the Feline Dad Who Has Everything. |
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NewsBox 4500 For the Old Pooper Who says humans are the only ones who can catch up on the news while they visit the bathroom? With the NewsBox 4500, Dad can read The Morning Hairball, get real-time stock quotes, execute online trades, send email, write reports, and retrieve and compose MeowMail - all while answering the call of the wild! The NewsBox 4500 is a real gem, with its integrated high-resolution LCD screen, ruggedized clawboard, and wireless mouse. If Dad doesn't want to risk wetting the electrical components, he can "drive" simply by running his nose on designated areas of the screen. Hey, time is money, and a busy cat like Dad will appreciate not wasting another minute simply because he has to take a nature break. Recommended by: Reboot and FatCat. RodoCop ZX Technology for the Elite Mouse Hunter Is Dad still hunting mice the old-fashioned way? Do you suspect he'd appreciate a more efficient way to find a quick snack? Then surprise him with the RodoCop ZX, the next generation of global mouse positioning satellite (GMPS) devices. With the RodoCop ZX, Dad can pinpoint mice across the room or across the globe, or by hemisphere, continent, country, state, county, city, municipality, or even in his own home! Based on a newly declassified technology with tracking algorithms that detect rodent DNA and differentiates it by subspecies, RodoCop ZX makes it so easy to track down lunch that Dad can start buttering his toast even before he makes his first pounce. Why rely on humans to bring Dad canned or bagged food when his next mouse is virtually in the bag now! RodoCop ZX is a thoughtful gift that Dad is sure to enjoy for years to come. Recommended by: Sir Smashalot. Deluxe Easy-Shred Pillow Better than a Pinata! Here's a pillow that any feline dad will appreciate - even ones who think they're too old for silly kitten play. The Easy-Shred Pillow is soft as butter and great to toss around. But, best of all, it's designed for TOTAL destruction. Made of a space-age "instant-shred" fabric, the Easy-Shred Pillow can be effortlessly torn apart by Dad, regardless of his age or fitness level. Dad can use his claws, teeth, and even his ears if they're pointy enough, with a minimum of force or fuss. But wait. There's more!!! Once Dad rips off the cover, the pillow will spew forth mountains of green, hard foam packing peanuts that will cling to his freshly-charged fur through thick and thin, in just about ANY arrangement Dad wishes. Dad can use the peanuts to create hats, scarves, clever disguises - even two piece suits! And when he's done wearing the peanuts, Dad and the grandkittens can spend hours scattering the pillow's innards throughout every room of the house and under every stick of furniture - even between humans' toes while they sleep. Recommended by Miss Hissy (who admits: "The peanuts are most fun when your human valets have been trained to clean up any mess resulting from your play.") |
Carnivore Station Finally, a Grill for the Serious Feline Chef! Studies have shown that most disappointments on Father's Day take place during cookouts. That's because traditional barbecue grills just don't work well with freshly caught fare. Carnivore Station is a revolutionary new concept in feline outdoor cooking gear, with settings optimized for insects, rodents, and birds. Dad will definitely mew about the special screen that prevents moths and other appetizers from falling into the grill and getting too charred to enjoy. And as a Father's Day plus, Carnivore Station includes an apron and chef's hat embroidered with Dad's initials, along with mouth-watering recipes for gravies, stuffings, and grilling sauces. So what's for din-din this holiday, Dad? Recommended by: Socratail Smitty's Bird Calls for Cats (Book/Tape Combo Set), Third Edition The perfect complement to the Carnivore Station! There's nothing like fresh food for a cookout. And there's no easier way to get it then to have it fly into your backyard of its own volition. With the latest edition of Smitty's Bird Call Book/Tape combo, Dad will be attracting a wide range of avian dinner fare in no time at all! He'll learn the art and science of mimicking the mating calls of all the major species of birds in the immediate vicinity. And think of the great sense of pride he'll feel when he gets to eat crow - and know that he used his wits to outsmart it! (Caution: Feline bird calls have a 5 percent margin of error for species specificity; not recommend for use in areas populated with hawks, eagles, and other large birds of prey.) Recommended by Miss. Hissy. |
BionicLabs Motorized Paw Extender Friends, Romans, and Feline Dads - Lend Us Your Paw! |