. . . banned catnip from everywhere: restaurants, milk jug cap soccer fields, gardens, or even in private laundry hampers. In fact, the felines of Cambridge can't take a chew anywhere except in the bathtub, and you know what that means. There hasn't been a sprig of catnip chewed -- legally -- in Cambridge for years."

Brushtail had hoped to crash the 12th Annual Anti-Catnip Conference, but now he's not sure he can attend. "Five days of refraining from catnip? Unbearable!" he tells us.

He's particularly concerned because Anti-Catnip Conference protesters -- including the entire FeNHaL membership -- would face the dreaded BATHWATER if they wanted to indulge their catnip craving. Penalties for chewing catnip illegally in Cambridge range from ten balls of yarns, for a first offense, to lifetime imprisonment at the Canine House of Correction for felines with three catnip-related strikes against them. "It's not the quarters that are so horrible to contemplate," Brushtail tells us. "It's the prisoners! Dog breath. Ugh! And they complain about catnip breath?"

We asked Cambridge's Chief of the Anti-Catnip Department, Officer Dubby Drools, why the punishment for chewing catnip in his city is so harsh. "Demographics," he responded. "Our felines are well educated and understand the consequences of chewing this herb -- which include, but are not limited to, stunted fang formation and unspeakable halitosis -- and they simply want their city to be completely free of catnip scofflaws. We won't stop our vigilance until the catnip plant is extinct in this part of the globe."

Brushtail hasn't yet decided whether or not subject himself to the rigid rules of Cambridge. But he does have an idea about how he and his associates might possibly circumvent the anti-catnip laws. "The Cambridge anti-catnip statue reads: Felines must not CHEW catnip.  It says nothing about RECHEWING catnip.  If we simply keep on munching on already-chewed catnip, they can't arrest us.  Can they?"

This Morning Hairball editor didn't want to take a legal position on the matter. Besides, it might be fun to let the FeNHaL members scamper into Cambridge with their worn-out catnip wads. We just love to watch a really good catfight.