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presented by The Morning Hairball ... Since this is, at long last, Katrina Flea's final week on the show, and since she now knows for sure that she can't possibly be fired before she triumphantly stalks off the set, Katrina Flea decided to give us the exclusive, real poop: "I'm leaving because my feelings were hurt. Meow! Oh, it's not that I was insulted. It's worse than that. Our producer insulted my kitten, Moldy. It happened like this. One day, just before we were about to go on the air, my precious little Moldy barfed on our producer's shoes. And our producer -- sniff -- had the audacity to actually HISS and SPIT at my Moldy! When I tearfully pointed out to our producer that Moldy was only a mischievous little critter with an upset stomach, I got the distinct impression -- yes, my friends, I'm afraid it is true -- that our producer does not even LIKE kittens. So I had little choice but to walk off the set for good, once I had created sufficient hoopla around the great but sorrowful event of my leaving." When asked if she'd decided yet on her next career move, Katrina Flea admitted that she hadn't. "But the possibilities are endless," she bragged. "I've been seeking the advice of my dear friend Juanita, the recently deposed spokescat for the Burrito Queen restaurant who is now a frequent game show panelist. She tells me that her agent, Sonny Martianhunter, may possibly be persuaded to represent me if I promise never to enter his office, never to sing in public, never to bring Moldy anywhere near his family members, and to use a bit more deodorant. Sonny, it turns out, is NOT a fan of mine. However, Juanita tells me he'd be a fabulous asset to my career, so I just may sign on as his client after I've had a chance to mull over the possibilities. Who knows? I have so many options open to me now that I'm still a bit too excited to process them all." As Katrina continued gushing about the amazing future that looms ahead of her, this reporter tippy-clawed out of the room and closed the door very, very quietly. I'm sure that you, dear readers, will join the entire Morning Hairball staff -- with the exception of me -- in wishing Katrina Flea good luck in her future endeavors. That's because none of you have ever met her. If you had, you might well feel differently. Goodbye, Katrina Flea. Lucky you, Squeegie! Copyright 2000 MeowMail.com, LLC All Rights Reserved
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