PUBLIC APOLOGY TO MISS PENNY AND ALL OF MEOWMAIL TOWN

By Purrcival Reginald Longfellow

My dearest bride, Penny, and my wonderful friends, I have let you down and am so ashamed. While you were all struggling to maintain the integrity of our community, and my lovely Penelope was making friends at MeowMail Town, I was wallowing and jealousy and stealing my human's valerian. I would now like to publish a full confession as a warning to the younger generation.

It all began this summer when our mommy began to harvest an herb called valerian to make a surprise Christmas present for us. Now this herb is normally quite safe and just a little stronger than catnip, but I chose to steal it!

I had found mom's stash and stolen it away to a secret place. For months, its intoxicating aroma occupied my spare time as I tried in vain to break into the plastic storage container. But someone always seemed to be about to catch me in the act, so I bided my time waiting for just the right moment.

As the holidays approached, mom searched and searched in vain for that little box … but it was mine, all mine! Finally in the rush of the season, she forgot all about it. Success was almost within my grasp.

Everyone was too busy to even notice what I was doing and, yes, I felt a little left out and jealous that my sweet, shy little Penny had become so popular at MeowMail Town.

Then, this morning, Miss Penny absolutely insisted that I clean up my act and go mingle with her friends. And later, I tried to stop by the MeowMail Forum like in the old days, before my disgrace … and sweet Miss Chita let me have it with both barrels for how I had been behaving! Never was a dressing down more richly deserved, and I can't thank Chita enough for opening my eyes and rescuing me from the brink of self-destruction and ruining my marriage.

I stand before you now, a thoroughly chastised and penitent sinner, to beg your forgiveness and that of my wonderful wife, though I know that I do not deserve it. I swear by all that is holy that if only you will all accept me back, I will never do anything so foolish again for as long as I live.

Miss Chita and darling Miss Penny, you are both Supercats, for you have saved me from myself. Please forgive me. And please publish my sad tale as a warning to those even younger and perhaps just as foolhardy as I have been.

Sincerely and penitently yours,
Purrcy