Letters to the Editor

 

GENERAL LETTERS

Dear Miss Hissy,
What really HISSES me off is when the human valets think they own ME!!!

I personally say, "How many cats do you know who DON'T have more than 3 different houses to feed from?" They don't understand how we only come back to their house at night even because our baskets are there! I have adopted 6 houses on my street now, and am fed from salmon to moggy muck. (Moggy Muck is catfood in human language.)

From Bustopher Jones, The cat in white spats.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Fat Cat,

I am myself a "fluffy" cat of four years old. My human has been very stingy with the food lately. She calls this awful treatment a "diet." It's supposed to be for my own good. I've been trying to tell her over and over again that I am starving. Does she listen? No. What can I do? The treats are kept in a very high cupboard, and no matter what I say to her, she will not get them done. I also keep telling her it's my fur that makes me look bigger. Sigh. I just don't know what to do. Should I fire her and try with another human? She is very good at making sure our litter boxes are clean, and she does go out all day hunting to bring back our canned food. I'd really hate to let her go.

Sincerely,
Boo the Fluffy Cat

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Regarding Felinadonna's advice about the new kittens...

Ah, yes, We have had this problem with our person. The dilemma, feline friends, is to show our displeasure, yet maintain our positions as "favorites." First of all, sharing of beds, platters, and toys is definitely out!! Litter boxes must be guarded by all sorts of smellies and continuous vigilance. These little interlopers have a way of insinuating themselves  everywhere. Ignore them, and maybe your person will lose interest in them. If all else fails, stop eating, but hide some munchie crackers in a safe place before doing so. This surely will show your  apparent distress over the newcomers, and your person will find another home for them.

Don Q De La Menu

KAUFMANJAN@aol.com

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regarding Socratail's question...
How many felines does it take to open a can of tuna fish?

It doesn't take any cats to open a can of tuna fish. I have my human to do that for me. All I have to do is look at her, and she does the rest. Why strain my fluffy little paws to do something so menial and beneath me. My human can handle that kind of stuff.

Missy, owner of human

tamek@aol.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only ONE! Anymore than that, and paws will be bitten off!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I could care less how many it takes to open a can of tuna, I don't like
fish.  Now, how many does it take to pluck a turkey clean??  That's more
relevent!  Poultry, poultry, poultry!  Ahhh, it's catnip to me!

Rumpleteaser Darabpour

 

 

Sign-up today for your FREE subscription to The Morning Hairball.